by Jeff Dieffenbach

Returning for their second year, the 2002 MLS Gold Mine Awards recognize measurable but non-obvious performances mined nugget-like from the statistical depths. Many year-end awards fail the measurement test: e.g., MVP, Rookie of the Year. Others wear the mantle of the obvious and in essence report themselves: e.g., scoring leader, goals against average. The Gold Mine Awards reveal hidden aspects of the league.

Sharpshooter award

Anyone can score goals given enough shots. Ante Razov netted 14 goals for Chicago, 4th best in the league among the 108 players who scored in MLS this year. But it took him a league leading 115 shots to do so—1 goal every 8.21 shots.

What’s really impressive is scoring goals without a lot of shots. Who were this year’s top Sharpshooters among those scoring more than two goals?

Congratulations to Ryan Nelson, the 2002 Sharpshooter award winner for scoring 1 goal every 3.75 shots. Honorable mention goes to both Taylor Twellman and Carlos Ruiz for accuracy while leading the league in points and goals, respectively.

Interestingly, not only did Nelson not top Steve Ralston, the winner in 2001 for Tampa Bay (7 goals on 18 shots for a ratio of 2.57), but his scoring efficiency would not even have been in the top five last year.

Passing Fancy award

All true fans know that the while the heart of soccer may be the goal, its soul is the pass. And best of all is the pass that leads to the goal. The Passing Fancy award goes to the goal scorer with the best ratio of assists to goals.

Congratulations to Carlos Valderrama for dishing it out to win the 2002 Passing Fancy award. Valderrama’s mark of 16 tops the 11 of last year’s winner (and this year’s runner-up), Simon Elliott. Honorable mention goes to Andy Williams of New York/New Jersey, whose 15 assists to 2 goals ratio gives him the highest ranking (7th) of those players with 2 goals. Also, honorable mention to goalkeepers Tim Howard of New York/New Jersey, Tony Meola of Kansas City, and Tom Presthus of Columbus for each notching an assist (but not matching last year’s 2 assists by Nick Rimando, then of Miami).

Homebrew Scoring award (NEW!)

A certain King of Beers (tm) sponsors the “2 points for a goal, 1 point for an assist” league scoring championship. The Homebrew Scoring award stands that formula on its head, giving 2 points for an assist and 1 point for a goal.

Congratulations to the 2002 Homebrew Scoring award winner, Steve Ralston.

Take My Ball and Go Home award

Everyone remembers the kid who wouldn’t share. MLS is no different. The Take My Ball and Go Home award is arrived at by looking at the ratio of goals to assists.

No shame in putting the ball in the back of the net! No congrats for selfishness, but none of the teams above have been heard to complain. Carlos Ruiz obliterated Abdul Thompson Conteh’s 14.0 for DC last year to win the 2002 Take My Ball and Go Home award.

Share and Share Alike award

Mom always said, “Everything in moderation.” The Share and Share Alike award goes to those players who balance goals and assists.

Congratulations to Brian McBride and Josh Wolff, winners of the 2002 Share and Share Alike award. Both fell well short of the 15 and 15 mark set by Diego Serna for Miami in 2001.

Two (Two!) Men Between the Ball and the Goal award

It’s hard to blame offensive players for wanting to score goals. It’s easy to blame them for ignoring the rules, however. The Two (Two!) Men Between the Ball and the Goal award goes to those with the highest ratios of offsides calls to goals.

Hold your horses, Brian West, winner of the 2002 Two (Two!) Men Between the Ball and the Goal award. West displace Chris Albright, 2001 winner and then of DC (also at 13.0). Not sure what they’re putting in the water in the Nation’s Capital, but it isn’t patience. Honorable mention goes to Mamadou Diallo of New York/New Jersey for the second year in a row. His league leading 54 offsides calls was 2 fewer than in 2001 (placing him 11th in offsides to goals ratio), but still ahead of Columbus’ Jeff Cunningham by 14.

Schoolyard Bully award

School yard bullies don’t disappear when school’s out. The Schoolyard Bully award goes to the player who hands out the highest ratio of fouls called (more than 10) to fouls suffered.

“Shame on you” to Zak Ibsen, winner of the 2002 Schoolyard Bully award. Ibsen displaces 2001 winner Justin Evans of Chicago. Honorable mention to Carlos Ruiz of Los Angeles, whose league leading 71 fouls called offset an equal number suffered.

Punching Bag award

For every schoolyard bully, there’s a punching bag. In MLS, the Punching Bag award goes to the player who absorbs the highest ratio of fouls suffered (minimum 10) to fouls called.

A purple heart to Jason Moore, “winner” of the 2002 Punching Bag award. Carlos Valderrama dropped in the ranking from first in 2001, but only by virtue of fouling more—he was fouled 45 times in 2002 versus 23 in 2001. No, that is not a mistake: Jeff Agoos is a punching bag, not a schoolyard bully. Honorable mention goes to Taylor Twellman of New England, who absorbed a league leading 87 fouls (the same as Jaime Moreno of DC in 2001), but managed to find time to dish out 55 in exchange (0.6 for a rank of 28th).

Sisyphean Fans award

Greek mythology holds that for betraying a secret of Zeus, Sisyphus was doomed to perpetually roll a large boulder to the top of a hill, only to lose control and watch it plummet back to the bottom before starting again.

A team’s Sisyphus Number for a year is arrived at by dividing their average home attendance by their average points per game for all games.

The Sisyphean Fans ranking for 2002, recognizing fans who come out to support their club regardless of performance, is as follows.

Congratulations to the stalwart New York/New Jersey fans, winners of the 2002 Sisyphean Fans award. They displaced 2001 winner DC, who along with Colorado (3rd in 2001) had another good year.

Pineda Colada award

Every coin has two sides. The flip side of the Sisyphus coin is named for the 2001 Miami Fusion star whose presence still failed to drag fans away from their air conditioners long enough to take in a game. Fans of the teams with the worst ratio of average home attendance to points per game are as follows.

“Boo, hiss” to the San Jose Earthquakes “fans,” winners of the 2002 Pineda Colada award (and runners-up in 2001).

Paul Caligiuri award

The league is too young to have had many high profile retirements to date. This year marks the second.

As in 2001, no contest. Tab Ramos was a U.S. National Team stalwart including action in the 1990, 1994, and 1998 World Cup tournaments.

Hey, you can’t measure everything.